deep down, i think it's all about me.

the reality of marriage is this: you realize the ugly depth of your selfishness in your attempt to love your wife. but that realization only comes while attempting to be unselfish and unconditional. if you have the "serve me" mentality, you don't think your selfishness is ugly, you think it's warranted!

marriage is going to teach me a lot. i pray that i will be moldable clay, refinable gold.

8 weeks

the rush of trains of thoughts in my mind is overwhelming. and that's just my emotional reaction. i also have to think about the umteen hundred things i have to do logistically for july 17th. i can't wait to go to hawaii ... i need to get away anyway, and getting away with N will be faaaantastic. still wondering how my selfishness will play out in marriage. praying against it as much as i can remember. a friend once told me that the depth of one's own selfishness is revealed in marriage ... where men are supposed to epitomize unselfishness and service. i hope i can learn the easy way instead of the hard way.

here we go

it's an attempt to put order to my thoughts. i won't promise consistency, but i do promise content.

when i take a moment to reconnect with Christ .. to talk with God directly, i sense refreshment. i should do it more often. tomorrow we're going to spend some time in prayer at FNS. what is it that our community needs? where are we lacking spiritually? do people realize the reality of this man who claimed to be God 2000 years ago?? i know i don't. i'm a sinner who needs the grace and forgiveness that He offers...